Post Irma – Helping Out The Best Way I Can

Some of us were really fortunate to get through Irma untouched. Some maintained power, while many lost more than just power – they lost treasured memories, businesses, homes and sadly, even loved ones. We lost time. We lost resources. We lost money. We lost faith. We lost our minds. There is no way to measure the impact of any loss or compare the stress of one loss to that of another. It’s all stress and it all takes a toll. The community is collectively stressed.

As a small business owner, this period of recovery translated into cancellations as clients now direct their attention to more basic needs, the needs of their families, and their own businesses. Completely understandable. Yet, now I find myself with a very open schedule – a rare thing for a business typically booked solid three weeks in advance. So, what to do with that available time? I observe neighbors helping neighbors clean up debris, I see restaurants serving free meals, I see strangers sharing resources like gas, electricity, water and even opening their homes. Should I come to your house and wield a chainsaw and clear that tree trunk? Could I best serve by sweeping debris from your gutter or delivering a casserole? Do I run an extension cord and power strip from my house and invite folks to stop by for a charge? Should I just passively donate to the Red Cross from my phone? No, I believe my time and skill is worth far more to my community than my money or my sweat. I believe my ability to help others create Powerful Positive Change is the best resource I can share.

So, here’s what I have determined will have the greatest positive impact. Next week, September 18 – 22, I am offering complimentary Tapping, NLP and Stress Reduction Meditation and Mindfulness Sessions. This is open to anyone. Anyone. Sessions may last between 30 – 45 minutes. These sessions are complimentary and all I ask is that if you schedule, you show up. First come first serve. There are only a limited number of spots available and when they are gone, they are gone. Please don’t book a time unless you intend to honor your appointment. Please understand, to protect the privacy of my clients, you must book in advance as walk-ins cannot be accommodated.

Research shows that unresolved stress not only damages your body, but also primes your subconscious to react quicker not only during the next crisis but also in anticipation of it. More important, stress may cause you to misperceive situations as more stressful than they really are. Under stress, it’s nearly impossible to think rationally to make the kind of sound important decisions necessary to protect yourself, your loved ones and your home. The goal of our time together will be to help you enjoy a noticeable shift in your physical and emotional state, through the use of some of the most powerful tools in my field. You can read more about these tools on the ABOUT THE TOOLS page of my site and read more about the clinical effectiveness of these techniques below:

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT / Tapping) has been shown to rapidly calm the nervous system and reprogram the stress response and even prevent traumatic events from imprinting on the subconscious. Read more about the effectiveness of EFT / Tapping with Veterans with PTSD.

• In clinical trials, Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) has been shown to significantly reduce stress while reprograming neuro-associations and creating new neural pathways to change how you perceive and relate to stressors. Read more about NLP’s effectiveness on the Stress Level of Critical Care Nurses.

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction & Meditation has produced statistically and clinically significant decreases in PTSD and long-term resolution of anxiousness and depressive feelings by and through simply connecting to your breath and returning your focus to the present moment. Read more about the success of MBSR with Female Trauma Survivors.

There is no catch. No pressure to book anything beyond that session. Just come in and let’s relieve some stress. Let’s get together and calm the stress response, recalibrate your inner peace and get you, and our community, back on track. What have you got to lose but some stress?

Call me at 941-681-0117 or email to schedule.

*Note: Per Florida Statutes, we will not be working on any pain or any diagnosed physical or mental health condition in these sessions unless you provide a referral from your doctor or mental health practitioner. No warranties are extended and specific outcomes are not guaranteed. Individual results will vary. Offer will not extend beyond Friday, September 22, 2017.

Doing Better Than Just “Getting By” During the Holidays

December 9, 2014

The holidays typically offer an interesting mix of joy and wonder combined with a healthy dose of toleration neatly tied up in a bow of humility. Even if extended family isn’t involved, where there are gatherings, there are expectations. Where there are expectations, there is opportunity for frustration because rarely do people or situations ever quite live up to our expectations.

So usually, this time of year, many of us are anxiously planning our strategy for “getting by;” arming ourselves with defensive comebacks and early exit plans. But what if you could go into the holidays with calm assuredness that everything will be okay and trusting that you can not only handle what happens, but you can do it with compassion, acceptance and love? Take a minute and breathe that one in. Doesn’t your body feel better already?

Well it’s absolutely possible if you engage, one of the basic laws of the mind – “that which is expected, tends to be realized.” If you go into this holiday season with some different expectations, you CAN really experience something you can handle and feel good about. It’s not denial. It’s called re-framing and it’s easier than you think. Start with the base idea that the “characters” you anticipate running into are just doing the best they can with their given resources. Then expect to see that “best” in everything they do – not the worst.

That may be a challenge knowing Cousin Bob is notorious for knocking back one to many over dinner, or that Aunt Susan is the family gossip. You may think “how could that possibly be their best?” Still, when you change your idea about what you expect to see, you change your filter for what you will see. Consequently, the experience changes for you. Their “best” doesn’t really change, rather, how you perceive it changes. It doesn’t mean you allow inappropriate behavior, it just means that in those moments, you expect to give the kind of compassion and understanding that gives this “season of giving” it’s name.

Observe how having this positive expectation in advance, allows you to extend compassion for those “characters.” Anxious feelings fade, and you can visualize your ability to connect to the resources you need to truly handle everything with that calm assuredness. Expect the best of yourself this holiday season and so too will it be realized.

Want more information about how to transform relationships through NLP, Hypnosis and Life Coaching, click here.  There’s time to squeeze in a few sessions before the family comes to town.

Happy Holidays!

Houston, We Have a Filter

October 28, 2014

Like most of us, I enjoy movies and am rarely without an observation about life that hasn’t been characterized in some snippet of a scene from movies both popular and obscure. Some of these snippets conveniently embody entire concepts. So when I find myself at a loss for everyday words to explain the models I work with in my practice, I call upon these snippets for help communicating an idea. In some cases, recounting an entire scene is necessary.

“Houston, we have a problem.” Even if you didn’t see Apollo 13, you will recognize the line. Even if you don’t know that the statement was made in reference to a technical fault in the electrical system of one of Apollo 13’s Command Module’s oxygen tanks, you get the gist of what it means. More important, when you hear those words, or any similar phrase, something is triggered in your body.

The sympathetic nervous system detects the situation and immediately runs the FIGHT, FLIGHT OR FREEZE program. Normal, natural, human response to the problem scenario. After all, your subconscious has repeatedly rehearsed the reaction for situations both real and imagined your entire life, just so it can execute the safest response to the situation. Even if you didn’t see the movie, you could imagine that what followed those 5 words was an hour of nail-biting drama, where the audience was entertained to feel as much fear and panic as the astronauts likely felt back then – (as if we ever could.) Well, if you did see the movie, you know how quickly the focus shifted from the problem to finding a solution . . . making the Command Module’s square CO2 filters fit the round CO2 filters in the Lunar Module. NASA engineers quickly assembled to solve that age old problem — how to fit a square peg in a round hole using only materials the astronauts had on board. As an audience, we were glued and even though there was a solution in sight, our bodies stayed on the hook for the next 60 minutes. What’s up with that?

Just like in real life, when faced with a problem, the simple act of shifting our focus from the problem to finding a solution doesn’t always let our bodies off the hook. Focusing on the solution can sometimes even make you feel worse, because the act initiates the FIGHT, FLIGHT, or FREEZE program for an entirely new set of reasons. Worse, while those programs are running, our creativity is not accessible and we lose any executive function or problem solving that does not facilitate the fighting, fleeing or freeing. So even having NASA level expertise and ingenuity at your disposal, does not do much for you in the moment. This is because the prime directive of the subconscious mind is to run programs to keep you safe and comfortable and it won’t deactivate these programs until it is nestled safely in evidence of safety.

It’s not enough for a solution to be “in sight,” it has to be “in hand” before the subconscious lets your body off the hook. Exactly how long this process takes is unique to every individual. But one thing remains evident – the longer your body and mind stay engaged in the fight, flight or freeze program, the longer it takes you to return to your resourcefulness and the longer it takes to really solve a problem.

So what if you could improve your ability to do creative problem solving in the moment. Stop for a minute and breath in the phrase “Houston, we have a filter.” Let that resonate with your body. Feel the relief, feel the gratitude, feel the hope and optimism that accompanied those words. This is the moment where NASA Engineers triumphantly communicated success in creating a filter solution using plastic bags and duct tape. This is the moment where the body really gets off the hook. And it’s the REAL moment where creativity resides. It’s the moment where your mind opens back up to it’s resources and where your body can vibrate and attract new ideas and insights. Trouble is, it takes place after the fact. So to truly harness the power of your creative problem solving, to be truly resourceful, you need to begin with the end in mind. Borrow that sensation you feel at the end of the process and apply it to the front end of the problem solving process.

Sounds crazy, right? It’s possible, if you can learn that when your body perceives a problem, you can use that “feeling” being communicated to simply default to a new program – a new program called “Trust That I Can Handle Anything.” Whether you believe you are a child of God, sliver of the infinite universe, or a 4 cylinder battery with a finite charge, you have the ability to conceive, believe and receive your problem solving success in advance. When you move into a problem from this understanding, from this knowing, with this confidence, in this trust vibration, you can really solve problems on the fly using the highest volume of resources available to you. Feeling that success also raises the vibration to attract and realize that success. Success becomes inevitable.

Give it a try and then practice (the more you practice, the faster and more efficiently the program runs). Next time you sense a problem, close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths – one for the body, one for the soul and one for the mind. With each exhale, say out loud “I can handle anything.” Then dive right in with your duct tape and baggies and build yourself a filter. . . . or an entirely new life.

The Fallacy of the “180”

September 29, 2014

I had an interesting exchange with a client recently who was really thrilled with how much improvement he had seen in just a few short sessions. He mentioned really seeing and feeling a difference with his original issue, but that it wasn’t quite a “180 turn” yet. My response to him inspired me write this post because I think a “180” is something many people look for when seeking change in their lives.

Doing a “180” implies turning things around. Don’t get me wrong, the mindset of turning something around is truly positive and empowering, but it also implies that seeing the inverse, or the backside, or the opposite of your current situation is a measure improvement and growth. It’s kind of a binary view of what you think you know of the current situation and what you believe about the potential outcome.

Take a minute and look at your palm. Now, turn it over and look at the backside of your hand. Do you see that you can distinguish the backside of your hand from your palm? Yes. Your subconscious is brilliant. It holds a mental image of your palm, so as to create context for defining the backside. So right now, as you are flipping your hand over, it’s thinking “PALM” and “NOT PALM.” In the same way, to look for, to wait on or expect a 180 in your current situation, invites your subconscious mind to keep your “CURRENT SUFFERING” on standby so that it can create context and help you define “NOT CURRENT SUFFERING.” The only thing is, when the subconscious does this, it ties up tremendous emotion and resources focusing on the thing you don’t want. You continue to vibrate precious energy on the thing you don’t want. And the universe responds with. . . “Here you go” and you manifest MORE of what you are trying to move away from. You don’t want that. You want to be on a journey, not going in a circle or running a loop. You want to be looking for and manifesting in multiple directions — moving away from old patterns, events, beliefs, emotions and behaviors — looking forward, not back to where you started and not even thinking about where you are now in relation to where you started.

When you are in the midst of suffering, do you really know where you are or just where you don’t want to be? And more important, do you truly have a vocabulary for describing the opposite of that place? If you did, chances are the words would never even get close to describing what the universe could deliver on. The universe is multi-dimensional. To look for the “180” limits the universe’s ability to take you in places you never imagined. In the cosmic scheme of things, true transformation isn’t even a function of “degrees” of movement. A simple shift is enough to start you in a whole new direction that may not even be linear. Keeping your mind on where you WERE, even as if to use it as a point of origin, may keep it (and all the related negative emotions and beliefs) in your subconscious, tying up precious energy and space to manifest what you deserve.

The solution? Stop looking for the “180.” Let the past go now. Don’t even let it continue to be a context through which you define and receive the future. Trust that one positive shift begets another shift, and another shift and another shift. Expect that. Look for that. Focus on the fact that you can shift and you are shifting, instead of the amount of your shift, how it looks different from where you were and definitely instead of how much you haven’t shifted.

Remember, you don’t have a context for where you are going, rather, you are in the process of creating and manifesting something totally incredible, in a whole new context. Don’t limit where you will go by keeping your subconscious focused on where you were.

Want some help getting started? As you stand there right now, imagine taking out of your body, any negative feelings and beliefs that characterize the current suffering you feel. In your mind, imagine attaching it to a rock, and drop the rock in front of your feet. As the rock falls to the ground, imagine that the impact radiates out in front of you, and an infinite field of beams of light and possibility appear in your future. This may even be above your head or down through the floor – wherever the future appears to you in your mind. Now, agree to let the rock called “current suffering” go. Step over it. Move forward into this future and leave the rock behind you. Let it go. You don’t need it any more. Even better, now that it is behind you, notice how it easily fades away, dissolves away, fades away until it’s just you, standing there in the field of all the possibilities of your future. Notice how the beams remain. The possibilities remain. It’s just you and all the possibilities of your future. Notice how good that makes you feel. Notice how you don’t need to see the opposite of that suffering to see everything radiating out in front of you. Notice how when you are focused on the possibilities, you are no longer suffering. And notice how you can now even have gratitude for the rock having helped you create the field of possibilities you are now standing in.

Suffering is no fun for sure. But don’t look for a 180. Instead, use it, let it go and then move forward into the possibilities it creates. It may feel different. But different is just different, not bad or scary. Keep moving and manifesting forward and toward what you want and what you believe is possible. Better yet, believe in the positive improbable. The more work you do, the more you increase the inevitability of your desired outcome. The more evidence you collect, the more real it becomes, until that reality is all you see — until that way of seeing the world is the only way you see the world.

And so it is.