My husband and I recently went through a difficult season. We began marriage counseling in the Spring of 16. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed to admit that. Any good marriage requires care, tending and practice to develop the skills necessary to keep it strong. When we engaged the counselor weekly at $150 per session, even though both of us were very frustrated, angry and financially strapped, I never remember a moment when I had a question in my mind of “how long is this going to take?” It was really just kind of an understanding that we were going to work on this until we fixed it or until we realized it was not fixable – because that’s what our marriage deserved. Less than a year later, we celebrated Christmas and New Years with the merging our hearts in our happy household again.
My daughter was diagnosed dyslexic in the first grade. Now, I’m not much for labels, but I understand it’s what the school needed to be able to give her the services she needed to demonstrate mastery in the system. At the time, we engaged tutoring for 3 days a week for $50 per hour. We drove 2 hours up and back after school for 5 years. Yet, at no point during that journey to get my daughter where she needed to be, do I never remember a moment of “how long is this going to take” or “how many sessions this is going to take.” It was just “as long as it takes.” That’s what my daughter deserved. She deserved that kind of focused commitment as long as she needed until she felt she had a solid foundation to succeed. Today, she is a smart, savvy and successful high school senior in AP classes with a stellar GPA looking forward to college in the fall.
A few years ago, I found a lump in my left breast and a few months later, two more lumps in the right breast. I went through all of the traditional approaches to bringing resolution to this issue. Doctor appointment after doctor appointment, procedure after procedure, copay after copay. And again, my focus was “as long as it takes.” Because that’s what I deserved. Today, I am happy to report that one lump was removed and I resolved the other two through hypnotherapy, clean believing, eating, and living. I am stronger and healthier than ever before thanks to a devoted family and skilled practitioners who shared with me the “as long as it takes” mindset.
When I speak with prospective clients, the first question they pose is often “how long is this going to take?” My response – “as long as it takes.” I usually add that I follow the client and empower them to resolve their issue as quickly as they desire.
Folks who want crock pot results in microwave time have a problem with this response. They want to know exactly how long and how much it’s going to cost before even starting the process – even though there are NO change work modalities out there that can give you this guarantee. Then they weigh resolving the problem against time and money, and impose expectations on the process, practitioner and the outcome. The result of this mindset? Stress and disappointment. When it doesn’t happen the way they expect, in the time they expect, and at the cost they expect they now have a problem AND frustration. Sadly, they give up on the work and grow further and further away from their goal.
People who are serious about creating resolution, understand the “as long as it takes” mindset. They know it places focus on their commitment and continual effort to get to their goal. They acknowledge change as a process, celebrating and honoring every step and every shift (large or small) enjoyed during the journey knowing it’s all adding up to inevitable resolution.
If you are struggling in any area of your life, whether you work with me now or later, I invite you to adopt a “as long as it takes” mindset. Commit to fully resolving what’s going on for you with that same intention, energy and intensity that you would to the most serious issue in your life. That intention, energy and intensity acts like an accelerator – a driver that ignites resources known and unknown to you. The happy byproduct may just be a more rapid resolution than you ever dreamed possible.
Looking forward to working with you soon, and to seeing where we grow.